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<title>How Not To Make Friends by オビカカファッカー (Drakojana)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145053">How Not To Make Friends</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/%E3%82%AA%E3%83%93%E3%82%AB%E3%82%AB%E3%83%95%E3%82%A1%E3%83%83%E3%82%AB%E3%83%BC'>オビカカファッカー (Drakojana)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Prince and the Mage [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>(maybe a little), Alternate Universe - Magic, Attempt at Humor, First Meetings, Foreshadowing, Kakashi is a little jerk, M/M, Mage Obito, Oneshot, Prince Kakashi, Royal Party, Stick Fighting</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 02:41:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,909</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/%E3%82%AA%E3%83%93%E3%82%AB%E3%82%AB%E3%83%95%E3%82%A1%E3%83%83%E3%82%AB%E3%83%BC</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you don’t even know who you’re talking to? Who let you in here?!”</p><p>“I-I’m an Uchiha!” The boy finally shouted, earning them a few intrigued looks. “I-I’ll kick your ass for disrespecting me!”</p><p>“How can you not know I am Prince Kakashi Hatake?!” Kakashi almost wanted to add that the Uchiha kid should feel honored because he hardly ever liked to say his title and full name out loud without pretending to gag on the words. “You’re an idiot, not an Uchiha!”<br/>-<br/>Kakashi's and Obito's first meeting.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi &amp; Uchiha Obito, Hatake Kakashi/Uchiha Obito</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Prince and the Mage [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792789</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>81</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>How Not To Make Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I promise smut is coming but I thought you guys deserved at least some cute stupid kids doing stupid things after all the angst haha</p><p>
  <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/1015201066-the-prince-and-the-mage-obikaka-%E2%84%82%F0%9D%95%A0%F0%9D%95%9E%F0%9D%95%A0-%F0%9D%95%9F%F0%9D%95%A0-%E2%84%8D%F0%9D%95%92%F0%9D%95%94%F0%9D%95%96%F0%9D%95%A3">Spanish translation on Wattpad here!</a>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kakashi wished his father had discussed this whole event with him beforehand. Of course, he also knew the King wouldn’t call off the royal party just because of his son’s whim. That didn’t stop the Prince from sulking as the ballroom was now packed with people from various countries. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He had to hold back audible groans and rolls of eyes as another kid his age was introduced to him as a prince, princess, duke, or whatever other titles their parents preferred. His father had warned him beforehand to behave at least decently - Kakashi was known for being a stubborn and rude child sometimes. The Prince was just sick of having to deal with them all just because of him being a Hatake. He may have been educated on his future duties as a ruler of the neutral country, but it wouldn’t stop him from being angry about the party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi almost ran away throughout the sea of adults talking about politics, only barely remembering the name of the latest kid he was introduced to. Asuma, he thought. Sure, Sarutobi rang a bell but not enough for him to not almost stick his tongue out. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>After squeezing through the crowd, Kakashi managed to find his way to the buffet. He noticed the food was almost untouched, save for the drinks. The Prince thought it was disgusting that all the adults really cared about was the alcohol - especially since his father never asked for the kind of food the royal cook had prepared for this party. Kakashi wondered what to snatch from the tables, as he suddenly bumped into someone. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, watch it,” he said, despite being the one at fault, and glared at the person, only now noticing it was yet another kid his age. But the boy’s clothes didn’t look too royal, and he looked quite lost. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-sorry,” the stranger murmured, his gaze shying away. He must’ve been eyeing the food as well but now that Kakashi’s attention was focused on him, he was too scared to take anything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Prince wondered why they haven’t been introduced to one another. No, it was even stranger that there was no adult accompanying the weird kid. Kakashi cocked his head to the side, looking him up and down. No over-the-top clothes, no tiaras, no signet-rings… Only the dark red eyes seemed a bit unnerving but the Prince didn’t particularly care. The boy seemed to be constantly eyeing Kakashi’s father who was lost in a discussion with one of the royals from the neighbouring countries.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Prince quickly came to the conclusion it had to be one of the new servants. Every time a major event would come up, his father would allow more people to work in the castle. Kakashi couldn’t be bothered to memorise their faces or names so he decided he wouldn’t do so now, being entitled to ordering the servants around anyway. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You, give me that apple.” He pointed at the epergne full of fruit that may have been within his reach but Kakashi was in the mood of making people do his own job. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh, okay?” The kid took one from the pile and handed it to the Prince. He looked a bit confused at the tone of Kakashi’s voice, even knitting his eyebrows. “Here?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I want it </span>
  <em>
    <span>peeled</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Kakashi crossed his arms and kept looking at the boy expectantly. “Go on, hurry.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You can do it yourself,” the stranger now spoke with a hint of annoyance. He didn’t like the fact he was still the one holding the apple, trying to make the Prince take it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s your damn job to listen to me!”  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh?! Just who do you think you are, you jerk?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi couldn’t take this kind of attitude anymore. It was his castle and he would act however he damn pleased. He gave the kid a forceful shove, not caring at the glass clinking as the other’s back hit the table.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you don’t even know who you’re talking to? Who let you in here?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’m an Uchiha!” The boy finally shouted, earning them a few intrigued looks. “I-I’ll kick your ass for disrespecting me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How can you not know I am Prince Kakashi Hatake?!” Kakashi almost wanted to add that the Uchiha kid should feel honored because he hardly ever liked to say his title and full name out loud without pretending to gag on the words. “You’re an idiot, not an Uchiha!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“M-my name is Obito Uchiha, you asshole! And just so you know, I don’t even want to be here!” He shouted those words with confidence that soon disappeared as he put a hand over his mouth and looked at the King again. Only then the Prince realised it wasn’t his father he kept glancing at - it was the man who was talking to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh really? Then you won’t mind if I go complain to my father now?” Kakashi smirked triumphantly. He knew he’d have won that argument already.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-no, wait!” Obito was now clearly panicking, throwing the apple back to the table just to grab Kakashi’s wrist as he pretended to turn around. “D-don’t tell anyone!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Prince was now interested in the kid. Obito had his attention ever since he’d refused him - something no one ever dared to even try. But now Kakashi needed to know just how exactly he’d ended up at the party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, if you tell me why you’re here and who’s that guy talking to my Father.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That’s my uncle and he’s the King, you know.” Obito sounded like he was sulking. “I had to come just because uncle Fugaku... I-I mean His Majesty doesn’t have any children yet… I was told there would be kids my age but I wish someone had warned me the Hatake one would be such a jerk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s Prince Kakashi to you, moron. So you’re not even from the main bloodline?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s my cousins who will take the throne… I don’t even have any titles...” Obito looked down but suddenly realised how Kakashi had just called him and he sent him a furious glare. “D-don’t call me a moron!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s only natural I call you that.” The Prince shrugged and smirked confidently. “You’re the one who threatened to kick my ass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“A-and I will if you don’t start using my name!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really are an idiot, did no one tell you what the Hatake family is known for?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito had enough of the insults, now stomping on Kakashi’s foot with his heel. “Being stuck up jerks?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Although it did hurt a bit, the Prince felt more amused with how red in the face the Uchiha kid now was. He almost looked like he was ready to cry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You really want to find out, dumbass? I bet I wouldn’t even need a sword, I could beat you up with a stick.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“D-don’t you know Uchihas are fire mages? I’d burn that stick to ash!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then do it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito rapidly blinked a few times in surprise, staring at Kakashi as if he’d just grown extra limbs. “What?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This party’s boring anyway. Come on, let’s see just how good you are with your magic.” Kakashi felt glad he’d more or less found a legitimate reason to leave the ballroom. Without waiting for an answer, he grabbed Obito’s arm and dragged him away from the people. He only glanced at his father briefly to make sure the King wouldn’t notice two kids sneaking out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wa-wait! I-I can’t--” Obito started protesting only when they were halfway through the hallway leading to the garden.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Scared that my fencing will really be better than your magic?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“N-no!” The Uchiha kid glanced behind them as he was lead outside against his will. “I-it’s just that someone’s following us and-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi threw his head back quickly. He didn’t feel too happy as he spotted one of the royal guards keeping an eye on them. “It’s just Tenzo, don’t mind him. I can kick his ass too.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Prince shut the door behind them and kept pushing the other boy further into the garden, so they wouldn’t be immediately spotted from the entrance. Obito looked surprised at the size of the royal garden. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“W-whoah, you got so many flowers…” Although it was the fall already, a lot of the plants were still in the full bloom. Obito bent over one flowerbed, gently touching the petals of some lilies. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi didn’t really care for the garden - the only way for him to spend the time there was to practice swordplay. He found one stick hidden in the grass and snapped a fresh branch from one of the oak trees to get the second makeshift weapon. He threw it to the Uchiha, only resulting in the branch hitting the boy on the head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Ouch- you asshole!” Obito shouted, picking the stick up. “W-what was that for?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Prince gripped the stick as if it was a real sword, hid his left arm behind his back and positioned his feet in a stance he’d practised countless times. “Live up to your words and kick my ass, stupid Uchiha.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-you can’t be serious-?!” Obito held his branch with both hands and the blush crept back up to his face. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Fine, then I’ll beat you up. Will be fun either way.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is insane-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi didn’t let him finish the sentence, lunging forward to smack Obito on his right arm. When the boy hissed in pain and tried moving away, the Prince spun on his heels and aimed his next attack at the other’s calves. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-stop! You’re crazy!” Obito now yelped and jumped away. “I-I can’t fight you!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why not?” Kakashi asked with a half-bored tone, wanting a real fight. “No one will find out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-still, it’s danger-” Once again Obito was forced to step back as the branch almost hit him in the face this time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t you know how to have fun? Use that magic you’re so proud of.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t make me seriously use it!” Instead of avoiding his next attacks with steps back, now Obito started running away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi couldn’t stop the grin growing on his face. They’d probably wreck the garden or at least make extra work for the gardener for the next day. But now it was getting interesting and he chased the other kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Just do it!” His voice probably sounded a bit too elated. When Obito hid behind a bush, he put so much force into the strike it would’ve surely sliced the plant in half if it had been a real sword.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I keep telling you, stop! I won’t have any other choice!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What do you mean? I went through all the effort to give you a stick too.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“All you did was hurt an innocent tree!” Obito tried his best to stand still behind one of the thicker tree trunks but Kakashi knew perfectly well where the other was all the time. One successful hit in the shoulder and the Uchiha was back to trying to escape him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Wouldn’t have happened if you just showed me some fire spells!” The Prince knew he was trying to agitate his unwilling opponent also because he was curious about witnessing actual, real-life magic. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I seriously have never had a single fencing lesson!” Obito shouted as Kakashi smacked him on the head. He couldn’t really duck and run at the same time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You don’t need these to have a stick fight, right?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re too skilled for a stick fight!” With each hit, Obito’s voice now sounded tearier and tearier. He still only tried shielding himself with his arms instead of fighting back. “This is unfair!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I keep telling you I won’t mind you using some magic! That would equal the difference in our skills.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi just couldn’t understand why the other kid hesitated so much. Sure, he was partially at fault for just dragging him out of the party and imposing his own definition of fun on him. He finally decided to give Obito a small break and stood still. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, if you really don’t want to, then I’ll cut you some slack.” The Prince lowered his arms so he wouldn’t look so ready to strike anymore. “You get a free pass to try to hit me now.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“This is some sort of a trap, isn’t it?” Obito was glaring at Kakashi from behind a tree, eyes narrowed in suspicion. “You’ll hit me again as soon as I get too close!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If you really don’t believe me and would rather go back to standing by the buffet like an idiot, then be my guest.” Kakashi even crossed his arms to appear as harmless as possible. Obviously he wasn’t planning on letting someone else even graze him but he’d had enough of the other just running away. “Or just finally try using magic?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why are you so obsessed with me showing you some magic?!” Obito stepped out of his hiding spot but still looked untrustworthy as he held the branch tightly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Because you’re a coward and I’ve never seen it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“... can’t use it yet…” Obito clearly looked frustrated but mumbled now, contrasting his previous shouting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What was that?” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I can’t use fire magic, okay?” The Uchiha kid now looked at Kakashi with eyes glistening with tears and a very red face. “B-but don’t you dare laugh at that!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I knew you weren’t a real Uchiha.” The Prince managed to keep his amusement to just a snort but it was enough to piss the other off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I said don’t laugh! I am an Uchiha!” Obito seemed to finally have had enough and charged at Kakashi, aiming to hit his head. He yelped in surprise when the other blocked the attack with ease. “Y-you said you wouldn’t hit back!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And I didn’t, I just never said I wouldn’t defend either.” Kakashi almost wanted to add he’d missed such sloppy opponents when Obito now tried his best to return a single hit after being smacked with a stick so many times. The Prince was too used to trained sparring partners, it was actually fun to just parry such messy and uncoordinated attacks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Uchiha kid just got angrier and angrier with the whole situation but just as Kakashi had pointed out before, he wasn’t going back to the castle either. They both could silently agree on the fact the royal party was boring. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You know, try holding the branch a bit higher,” Kakashi found himself even giving the other tips because he didn’t even need to aim well for Obito to lose his grip on the makeshift weapon. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“S-shut up! I don’t need your help!” Obito almost grazed Kakashi’s fingers with his next attack and even smiled thinking he’d just achieved that small victory only for the Prince to quickly step back and the boy fell forward losing his footing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi couldn’t hold back anymore, chuckling at the other’s failed attempts. “Are you sure about that?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito sat on the ground, furiously wiping his eyes as he tried his best not to cry at the whole situation. The Prince couldn’t help but find this entire thing amusing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh now I see, you’re not an idiot or a dumbass, you’re a crybaby.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’ll kick your ass so hard someday!” Obito yelled, glaring at Kakashi. His face somehow managed to get even redder than before. It was hard to take him seriously like that. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unlike you, I’ll be only getting stronger.” The Prince replied with a confident smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I-I’ll get even stronger than you! I’ll learn all the powerful spells and I’ll show you!” Obito’s voice was now cracking due to the crying and shouting. “I’ll become the strongest mage in the entire goddamn world and I’ll make you regret this! You’ll see just how superior magic is to your stupid swords!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Can’t wait to see that.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito got up and was about to shove Kakashi when he stared at the entrance to the garden. The Prince turned around to see just what had stopped him and clicked his tongue in annoyance when he spotted the royal guard that had followed them earlier.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“His Highness won’t be too happy to hear about this, Kakashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh come on, Tenzo, don’t tell Father!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think I told you to call me Yamato, not Tenzo.” The guard raised an eyebrow. “And how can I not, you just beat up a royal guest.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“P-please don’t, I don’t want uncle Fugaku to find out either!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi shot Obito a surprised look, he hadn’t expected him to take his side.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Only if you two make up.” The royal guard sighed, clearly tired of the Prince’s shenanigans. “I don’t want to be a witness to the birth of conflict just because you got bored, Kakashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s not even from the actual royal Uchiha family, I don’t think it would matter.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Obito used the opportunity to kick Kakashi for the comment. “Jerk.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dumbass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Stupid Kakashi.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Crybaby Obito.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright, I’ve given you two a chance but I see you’d rather keep fighting-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Okay, okay!” Obito extended an open hand toward the Prince, though he refused to look him in the eyes. “I-I’m doing this just to stay out of trouble.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kakashi looked at the hand stretched out towards him and finally shook it, gripping it tightly. “But if you ever want more ass-kicking, I’m always down for it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’ll be the one to kick yours next time!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“In your dreams.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And unlike before, they both were now smiling like idiots.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Kudos and comments are always appreciated!</p><p>Also, I have a <a href="https://twitter.com/obkkfkr">Twitter</a> now! (I mean, I had one before but now I'm gonna use it for talking about my fics and kakaobi mostly)</p></blockquote></div></div>
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